By Jessica Nitti, Executive Director

Have you ever had a moment when your mind convinced you there was no way forward? The problem felt too big, your thoughts started racing, and you could not see past what was happening right in front of you. Then something changed. Maybe you remembered something that had helped before, slowed yourself down enough to think differently, or talked to someone who helped you see an option you could not see on your own.

Over the past 30 years, I have had the privilege of working alongside so many young people, and some of the moments I remember most are the ones when you can actually see something begin to change. I see it in their eyes, their body language, and hear it in their voices. A child begins to realize, I’m not alone. I matter. I can figure this out. Those moments have never stopped affecting me.

There is something powerful about watching a child discover that what feels impossible right now may not always feel that way. Sometimes all it takes is one new tool, one trusted adult, or simply enough space to see the situation differently.

The work of Dr. Lori Desautels has really influenced how I think about the developing brain and nervous system, especially the constant communication between our brains and bodies. Our experiences and relationships help shape the patterns we develop, but those patterns are not fixed. Because of neuroplasticity, our brains and nervous systems are capable of change. For me, that science matters because it helps explain something I have witnessed foryears. Children can learn to notice what is happening inside of them. They can discover what helps them settle when emotions become overwhelming. They can learn to communicate what they need, work through a problem, and recognize when they need someone beside them. Even the voice inside their head can begin to sound different.

Instead of I can’t do this, it can become Let me try. That shift may seem small, but the impact can be far-reaching. This is resilience. Resilience is knowing there is more than one way through a difficult situation. Most importantly, it is beginning to believe that even when something feels overwhelming, you are going to be okay.

Another part of Dr. Desautels’ work that has stayed with me is the importance of co-regulation. Before children can consistently manage difficult emotions on their own, they often need adults who can stay connected and help them through those moments. Our tone, our presence, the way we listen, and how we respond when a child is struggling all matter.

A few years ago, one of our instructors was working with a group of middle school students. When she walked into the classroom one day, she noticed that a student who normally participated had his hood up and his head down on his desk. She began the lesson, but she kept noticing him. Something was not right. That day’s lesson happened to focus on mental health and healthy and unhealthy ways of coping.
When class ended, our instructor went over to check on him. The moment he looked at her, she knew he was not okay.

He told her he did not want to be here anymore. He had been thinking about ending his life and had a plan. Our instructor stayed with him and followed the school’s procedures to make sure he was immediately connected with the adults and support he needed. By that point, our instructor had spent weeks showing up in his classroom, building relationships while teaching skills and strategies. When he needed someone, she had become an adult he trusted enough to tell the truth about what he was experiencing.

Sometimes it is simply a child knowing that someone is there, that they are being heard, and that they do not have to figure everything out on their own.

This is at the heart of why I love Embright.

We talk a lot about giving children tools and strategies, and those things matter. But so does the relationship that makes a child feel safe enough to say, I’m not okay. I need help.

That is what we hope to build through our programs at Embright. We help young people understand themselves, learn what helps them manage their emotions, build healthy relationships, use their voices, and make healthy choices. Underneath all of that is something I believe deeply: no matter what their fears may be telling them in their head, they can learn that fear does not have to write the rest of their story.
The research helps us understand why these skills and relationships matter. Large studies of school-based social and emotional programs have found positive outcomes for children’s skills, relationships, behavior, school functioning, and academic achievement. Earlier research following young people after programs ended has also found lasting positive effects. That evidence helps us understand what works and challenges us at Embright to keep learning and strengthening what we do.

Over the years, I have watched children run up to Embright instructors at community events, sometimes years after they participated in a program. They want to tell them about something they remember or a strategy they still use. One of my favorite things is watching a child excitedly introduce an Embright instructor to their parent. I love those moments because we do not always get to know what happens after we leave a classroom. We may never know what grows from the seeds planted there. We may not see how one strategy, one conversation, or one relationship becomes part of a child’s life. But every once in a while, we get a glimpse. And after 30 years, those
glimpses still mean everything to me.

Every day, parents, educators, coaches, mentors, schools, and community organizations have the opportunity to be part of a child’s story. We may teach a strategy they remember years from now. We may help them recognize a strength they have not seen in themselves yet. Or we may simply be the person who notices something is different, listens when they are ready to talk, and stays beside them when they need someone.

We will not always know which moments a child will carry forward. But my hope is that, little by little, every child begins to believe three things:
I know my tools.
I have people.
I can find a way forward.
That is what I want for every child we have the privilege of reaching. And after all these years, I still feel incredibly grateful that this is the journey I get to be part of.

Sources; Further Reading
Desautels, L. Applied Educational Neuroscience, Butler University. Work related to
nervous system regulation, co-regulation, neuroplasticity, and educational
neuroscience.
Cipriano, C., et al. (2023). The State of Evidence for Social and Emotional Learning: A
Contemporary Meta-Analysis of Universal School-Based SEL Interventions. Child
Development, 94(5), 1181–1204.
Taylor, R. D., Oberle, E., Durlak, J. A., & Weissberg, R. P. (2017). Promoting Positive
Youth Development Through School-Based Social and Emotional Learning
Interventions: A Meta-Analysis of Follow-Up Effects. Child Development, 88(4),
1156–1171.
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. Research on brain architecture,
neuroplasticity, supportive relationships, and resilience.